All I can conclude about the timing of this revelation was that he needed to finish grooming me to be fully equipped with the role I was going to be taking on.
Have you ever felt that you had a calling on your life to do something miraculous? I am not talking just an every day idea like, “I’m meant to build furniture.” I mean this aching feeling that you are not who you are supposed to be and if you do not start “getting it together,” as I like to say, you will be in some big trouble with the man upstairs.
I didn’t always know that my life had a calling on it. I only came to that realization a year ago. However, since the very day that I spoke it into existence it has been unfolding at a rate that I have yet to wrap my head around, and I am only beginning to scratch the surface. All I can conclude about the timing of this revelation was that he needed to finish grooming me to be fully equipped with the role I was going to be taking on.
Last summer, after I came to the stark realization that I had been dealing with much more than resentment and anger, an epiphany hit me like a lightening bolt when I was sitting on my back porch. There was no way God would allow the entire first half of a persons life go undefended if there wasn’t something beautiful they were supposed to do with it.
Though I couldn’t see where this was heading, I obeyed and my life has not been the same since.
A few months later, I was given a set of instructions that only God, Himself, could understand. I was 2 weeks away from getting married when he put it on my heart to cancel everything and head to the Smokey Mountains. Now let me add something… I had never met someone who has gone to the mountains to tent camp, much less consider going all by myself. I knew this tug was directly from him. He took me out into the wilderness, alone, to tell me that my job was to go home, work my tail off, and let Him complete His work in my life. He, then, used the greatest love story in the Bible to communicate His message to me. The book of Ruth. Though I couldn’t see where this was heading at that time, I obeyed and my life has not been the same since.
For the last week or so, I had been having a familiar heaviness weighing down on me. There’s been some recent (happy) changes in my life. Naturally, I attributed this to feeling a little off balanced, which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but definitely not productive in terms of the instructions God had given me just 9 short months prior. On Tuesday evening, it all came tumbling down on me. I hadn’t been this emotionally exhausted in nearly 4 months and I was not comfortable with it at all. I immediately desired removing of all these new blessings that had recently found themselves in my story. For two days, I started pushing them away, feeling as though they were the source of this discomfort. Sometimes, we can add too much to our plate and over the course of my life, I had become a master at this. As I’ve recently shared in another blog post, there are messages on the wheels we spin. We just have to be open to receiving them.
Last night, my heart was being tugged to open my bible and ask for guidance. He led me to the story of John the Baptist. He was a unique man who didn’t relate to the people of his time because he cared more about obedience than he did fitting in. What struck me straight in the gut was that John was in the wilderness when God put a calling on his life. His profound speaking ability drew people to him. He committed his life to his truth, which opened his life up to live out its purpose. I, obviously, was taken back by the resemblance at how God has spoken his calling on to my own life as well. I do not claim to be as mighty as John the Baptist, but I do feel like God has anointed my life in a way that I will never be able to communicate on a level of human understanding. Yet, this week, I turned to man’s understanding before I went to God. He has already earned my trust. He has already spoke truth on my life. I have got to get better at remembering this when times get discouraging.
For this, I am blessed.
Life wasn’t meant to be easy. There will be distractions around every single corner that we will be willing to invest in. However, the truth is, that if God put a calling on your life, no amount of noise will deter His plans for you. I am learning the significance of obedience on a daily basis. Some days I win. Some days I royally suck at this. Whats most important, however, is that God doesn’t score us on our degree of achievement. He is just simply happy enough for the effort, because He knows He can always steer us right back to His plan, as long as we allow him to. I never considered myself religious or a radical christian. However, with every single message he covers my life with, I cant help but understand Him on a level that I have never imagined. For this, I am blessed.
You dont need anyone’s permission to be the woman God intended you to be.
This morning, I was listening to Lysa TerKuerst’s testimony. I was reminded that when there is a calling on your life, the trials and tribulations that you encounter along the way are put there to expose the diamond in the rough. He strategically prepares His daughters to fight the hard fight for the ones who have yet to find their voice. There will be some people in your life who will see this in you and some who wont. There will be some that need to be convinced that you are something special and some who don’t. You don’t need anyone’s permission to be the woman God intended you to be. He will not lead you into the waters to watch you drown. All He wants is an open and obedient heart. All He wants is You.
Sweet child, be free.