First Comes Soul, Then Comes Mate


The U.S. Census Bureau reports that in 2016, 45 percent of the adult population were unmarried. In the 50’s, singles were outnumbered by two to one. That’s a huge rise out in single land!

So many of us are actively searching endlessly for “the one.” We were not built to walk through life alone. However, with the excessive amount of options at our fingertips, single life is becoming more and more common. So my question to you is, what do you do in the meantime?


I am no expert on this matter. However, at 37, I have lived as a single woman way longer than I have married. I have attempted to live the single life a multitude of ways.

I have found that when I am focused on personal development, I am so much more at peace with my status. I become more hopeful of my future and I become MUCH more confident in myself. This makes me so much more aware of what I want and less tolerant of behaviors I won’t accept in a significant other.

Waiting around for someone to come along BEFORE you focus on your INNER self is a toxic mindset. The law of nature ensures that what we put out, we receive. So, if I’m not putting the work in to becoming a better woman, I will attract a man who has not done the work to be a better man. Therefore, I will be more likely to end up with someone who brings more tears than smiles to my life! Toxic attracts toxic.


There are so many other things we could be focused on in the meantime. Take my upcoming trip as an example. I’ve always wanted to travel. Without realizing it, I was waiting for a significant other to come along so that I could afford to do so. Knocking on my 40’s, I decided I couldn’t wait any longer! I want to be able to enjoy my trips! Just by stepping out on my own, I have learned there are a million different ways to travel as a single woman that won’t break the bank! The options are out there! I have recently invited a girlfriend to come along, but for the most part I planned a trip all by myself to explore my thoughts and get some quiet writing time in on the beautiful island of Costa Rica.

What are you waiting for??? Is there a trip you’d like to take? A skill you’d like to learn?? A movie you’d like to watch?? DO IT!! I urge you to take one small step and invest in yourself while you are waiting for the rest of your life to unfold. Make sure you have no regrets when the day comes that there is more than yourself to worry about!

Sweet Child be free.




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