It was a night that I will never forget. I was working on my camper when I realized the “small leak in the skylight,” actually meant the entire roof was damaged. It was this night when I found out that the majority of my soon to be home needed to be gutted to its bare walls and rebuilt if I were ever going to live in it.
I found the issue when the first rain of the winter season came crashing down and the strong winds ripped away the tarp I used to cover the roof. The front bedroom walls were soaking wet. I had to climb onto the top of the camper to secure as much of it as I could to protect what little work I had already done. While on top of the slippery roof, it sank in that there was no way I would finish this project in a month. I had no place to live, no help, and no light.
The more my heart sank, the more frantic I became. The more frantic I became, the more difficult it was to solve the problem at hand…which was to temporarily weatherproof my future home to get through the night. Had it not been the middle of the night, I would’ve screamed outloud at God. All I could do was sit there, on my knees, 12 feet off the ground, on a slippery roof, in the pouring rain, and sob. My heart was so broken that I had been lied to and it would effect my survival for the next 6, long months. It was the second most vulnerable moment of my life.
Just as soon as I began to cry, I thought about the end result. It felt as if something told me, “it may be messy right now, but there will be something miraculous at the end of this!” So, I, quickly, gathered my thoughts, dried my tears, and completed the task. Considering what I was already going through, as devastating as it was, that raw moment gifted me with hope and grit. The next morning, as I layed in my bed, I told myself, “DeLayne, if you can get through this, you can get through anything.
It has nearly been a year since that night. I still remember that helpless feeling at the pit of my stomach, as if it happened yesterday. That night taught me a great lesson. We cannot prevent the storms in our lives from coming, but our faith in God can weatherproof our spirit through any circumstance.
Since then, I have often wondered how I could further weatherproof my spirit by going directly to God before falling apart like I did on that roof.
I have always been told that when making behavioral changes, start small. So, I decided, that if I were going to weatherproof my spirit through all circumstances, I must, first, identify where there is a leak in my faith. Because, as Phillipians 4:13 says, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. A true follower of Christ doesn’t reflect that only when the sun is shining.
Recently, someone told me that when used figuratively, the word weatherproof means “incapable of failing, unassailable.” One translation of unassailable is to secure against attack.
The question that I want us to ask ourselves is, “How often does our Godly spirit begin to falter when our sense of stability falls under attack?”
I know mine does, more often than I would like to admit. When I am feeling defeated, I allow it to effect my peace. I worry. I analyze. I create scenarios in my head that haven’t even happened yet. I do everything but find joy and give thanks for the current season, which as God promises, is being weaved together for good.
With the crash of the oilfield in recent years, I am witnessing so many people in my community falling on hard times. Families are losing homes, relocating to find work, downsizing, selling all of their belongings. There seems to be silent panic and histeria. When I think of them, I think of how I felt on that cold, wet night. I relate to their questions and momentary doubt. If there is one thing I could share with them, it would be a glimpse into how the story ends. We may not have physical proof right before our eyes, but we have God and we have His Word. God’s word is truth. His truth is all we need to weatherproof our spirit in the middle of a storm. As hard as it may be, we must find joy in the storm.
Paul, in his letter to the Phillipians, says, “I long to depart and be with Christ which is far better but to remain in the flesh is more necessary for your sake. Since I am persuaded of this, I know that I will remain and continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, so that, because of my coming to you again your boasting in Christ jesus may abound.” Philipians 1:23-26
Paul wrote this letter during his time of imprisonment. His point was that his heart was split in two. He was ready to go home to God, his father, because he would no longer have to worry with worldly burdens. Paul, also, knew, however, that he still had work to do on earth. If his life would be taken, he would no longer serve his fellow disciples as God needed. Because of this, he chose to find joy in serving while he still had time.
Life is hard when our resources run out. Failure creeps up on us like death. However, what could possibly come of this? As God says in Matthew 6:27, “Which of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?”
There are many interpretations of this verse. My favorite one being the King James Version, which argues that the Greek term for lifespan is helikia. This can sometimes mean to add physical height to the body. I like this interpretation the best because when I begin to worry, my anxiety grows and I become more aggressive in my efforts. This is a learned behavior I picked up over a lifetime of living in survival mode. My brain has grown accustomed to thinking that the more aggressive I become, the better chances I have for survival. This makes me feel bigger than what I really am but it also makes me a difficult person to be around. My spirit becomes weathered and gray. I don’t want to be difficult. I want the world to see Christlike love when they see me.
I am trying to retrain my brain to remember that I don’t have to be big. I don’t have to be aggressive. My God is big. I don’t have to risk the state of my mental health over something as simple as worldly security. As the bible reminds us, does God not feed the birds in the sky? He values me much more than I value myself and if He is denying me, there is a reason. For whatever that is, I want to learn to be joyful in that so I can continue to do His work. All I want is to learn how to be present in the current season with a weatherproofed spirit.
If you are longing to find joy in your season of labor or waiting, pray this pray with me:
Dear Heavenly Father
I come here today to thank you for all seasons that I am allowed on this earth. Because your hands weave everything for good, I know you have got my life under control. I ask for a joyful heart in the meantime. Until then, I ask that you help me weatherproof my spirit to withstand the most grand storms so I can continue to praise Your most glorious name. Thank you for all that you are and above all, thank you for loving me, even when I am hardest to love.
In heaven’s name I pray. Amen.
Sweet child, live free.