Intentional Love: Measuring Intention Through My Responses



“Take the time to discover your real intention before you act. If it is to change someone or the world so that you will feel safe or better about yourself, don’t act on it, because it is an intention of fear and can create only painful consequences”  Gary Zukav

It was 5 o’clock on a brisk morning. I woke early to gather my thoughts for a meeting I was soon to have. I said a prayer to ask God for the right, firm words.  These words needed to set boundaries and rules. These words needed to remind others that I was the boss and communicate how I would not be made to feel like I was a guest in my own business. A dear friend texted me the above quote 15 minutes before my 11 o’clock meeting. My prayers were answered, alright. Just not in the way I was demanding. Just as my ego was about to take the front seat, God swooped in and gave me the right words to say that morning. His right words. You see, He knew I was about to respond from fear driven intentions when my heart was longing to respond in love to create harmony.


…my deeds had not been done with the right intentions, because if they had, I would not be using them for ransom to protect myself 

I crumbled up the laundry list of “I did this and that for you’s!” and the “How can you treat me this way after all I have done’s?” The minute I read the above words, I threw the papers out of my hand like I had just realized they were a sack of burning coals. That quote revealed that my deeds had not been done with the right intentions, because if they had, I would not be using them for ransom to protect myself from getting any more uncomfortable with the situation we were all in.

My heart was saddened for a minute because my desire was not to push anyone away with a “you owe me” attitude, but reconnect and restore what seemed to be lost in translation over the last few weeks. Had that text come 15 minutes later, I would have said some things that I would’ve regretted for a very long time. Isn’t God amazing??? When we have given ourselves over to Him completely, He swoops in to save us at the perfect time. 



Our God is a God who saves; from the Sovereign LORD comes escape from death. Psalm 68:20

This situation made me wonder how many times I have acted out of fear and suffered consequences for having intentions that I didn’t truly have. The flawed human heart in me began to get a little embarrassed of the possible scenarios where I acted under fearful intentions. That’s were God’s unwavering love rescues again to remind me that I am not a slave to my old ways anymore. He gave me the gift of growth that day by providing me a real, live example of what fear based intentions look like. 

As cliché as it may sound, lately, I have been trying something a little different with my husband. When I get the urge to get sassy with him (and ladies we all know what sassy looks like) I have began to ask myself “What would Jesus do?” I not only think of that particular phrase, but I literally try to vision myself as a bystander watching him humbly walk through crowds bowing low as if He was a mere peasant and not the Son of God. When I do this, I instantly feel a peace come over me and my demeanor changes. Once I realized my responses were not matching my intentions, I remembered that I can use this question to measure my intentions in future situations like this one. 

I have learned not to expect perfection in my season of healing, but to keep my heart open to accept the lessons God gives me to grow closer to Him in my ways.


I want to learn how to forgive every situation as Jesus forgives

I recently told my husband that I want to learn how to love like Jesus. When I am angry and upset, I want to learn how to forgive every situation as Jesus forgives. So we made a deal. Every time I seem to get upset, I asked that he say to me, “I need you to love me like Jesus would right now.” We haven’t had the opportunity to use this yet (which must mean we are still in honeymoon phase♥), but I am curious to see how well it works!

If any of you get the opportunity to use it, please let me know! I would love to hear back from you!!

Dear Heavenly Father,

We ask that you guide our intentions, Lord, so they may come from a place of love. We ask that you forgive past transgressions made out of fearful intention. We ask that you guide our future endeavors, Lord, so that we may always know and live in the image of Your Son, Jesus Christ.

In your name we pray. Amen.

Sweet child, live free.

Love, D



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